The goal of mothers is to raise happy, healthy, confident, loving, and responsible children; the challenge comes in when we have no way of knowing how to accomplish this goal. Our children want to feel like they belong and they figure this out through useful behavior and misbehavior. The four challenges of misbehavior from children are a way to get attention, power, revenge, and display inadequacy.
Children always want attention, positive or negative. Mothers can combat misbehavior with positive reactions.
- Do not give attention on demand.
- Ignore misbehavior when possible.
- Do not wait on your child.
- Give positive attention as much as possible.
- Say thank you when your child helps out.
- Notice when your child contributes.
Another main challenge for mothers is the power struggle. Your child continues to push the limits to see where they stand in the family unit.
- Refuse to fight or give in.
- Withdraw from power contest.
- Take a time-out yourself to get yourself together and decompress.
- Be consistent with your consequences for your child.
- Give your child choices.
- Let your child make some decisions.
- Ask for help other times to make child feel like they can be of help.
Revenge is another common behavior from children. Mothers can handle this stressful situation with a more positive reaction.
- Decide to not feel hurt or angry (easier said then done, I know).
- Do not reciprocate with hurtful reactions.
- Work to build trust at other times.
- Help child feel loved.
- Be fair with consequences
Children commonly display feelings of inadequacy by quitting easily, or not trying at all.
- Do not pitty your child.
- Stop criticizing.
- Notice all effort, big or small.
- Do not give up on your child.
- Focus on child’s strengths and talents.
- Give lots of encouragement.
Raising children is the hardest job we will ever endure. How we react to our children will shape the life of our children forever. We should make the decision to keep improving our parenting skills and make healthy parenting our top priority. Being a mother is the greatest blessing and we should remember how special a gift we have been given. I know it is hard to be responsible for another person and it is tough to multi-task, but we can do it because we are women warriors!