Mom’s Manual


motherl1

The goal of mothers is to raise happy, healthy, confident, loving, and responsible children; the challenge comes in when we have no way of knowing how to accomplish this goal. Our children want to feel like they belong and they figure this out through useful behavior and misbehavior. The four challenges of misbehavior from children are a way to get attention, power, revenge, and display inadequacy.

Children always want attention, positive or negative. Mothers can combat misbehavior with positive reactions.

  • Do not give attention on demand.
  • Ignore misbehavior when possible.
  • Do not wait on your child.
  • Give positive attention as much as possible.
  • Say thank you when your child helps out.
  • Notice when your child contributes.

Another main challenge for mothers is the power struggle. Your child continues to push the limits to see where they stand in the family unit.

  • Refuse to fight or give in.
  • Withdraw from power contest.
  • Take a time-out yourself to get yourself together and decompress.
  • Be consistent with your consequences for your child.
  • Give your child choices.
  • Let your child make some decisions.
  • Ask for help other times to make child feel like they can be of help.

Revenge is another common behavior from children. Mothers can handle this stressful situation with a more positive reaction.

  • Decide to not feel hurt or angry (easier said then done, I know).
  • Do not reciprocate with hurtful reactions.
  • Work to build trust at other times.
  • Help child feel loved.
  • Be fair with consequences

Children commonly display feelings of inadequacy by quitting easily, or not trying at all.

  • Do not pitty your child.
  • Stop criticizing.
  • Notice all effort, big or small.
  • Do not give up on your child.
  • Focus on child’s strengths and talents.
  • Give lots of encouragement.

Raising children is the hardest job we will ever endure. How we react to our children will shape the life of our children forever. We should make the decision to keep improving our parenting skills and make healthy parenting our top priority. Being a mother is the greatest blessing and we should remember how special a gift we have been given. I know it is hard to be responsible for another person and it is tough to multi-task, but we can do it because we are women warriors!

14 Responses to “Mom’s Manual”

  1. greenmtmom March 10, 2009 at 11:27 pm #

    Good point- we can do this! I like this topic- I feel the same way- kids misbehave to get at other need. I’m taking the Parenting on Track Course and the motto is “do not feed the weed!” – as in the bad behavior. The more we focus on what we don’t like, the more it shows up! Check out my blog entry- Tom & Jerry’s Guide to Mistaken Behaviors-http://parentingontracktales.wordpress.com/2009/02/09/tom-and-jerrys-guide-to-the-4-mistaken-goals-of-behavior/

    It’s in sync with your thinking!
    Have a nice day…

  2. fantasha March 11, 2009 at 1:46 am #

    Thanks for the comment.
    I am glad to hear you think the same way. Nice to know other moms who have the same views on parenting.
    I will check out your blog as well.

  3. discodaug September 17, 2009 at 9:55 pm #

    hello,

    Thank you for the great quality of your website, each time i come here, i’m amazed.

    regards,

    Alan Foe

  4. fantasha September 17, 2009 at 10:55 pm #

    Thanks Alan!

  5. Steve November 16, 2009 at 9:57 pm #

    This reads well. Is your blog just you writing? Nicely done, Steven.

  6. fantasha November 17, 2009 at 11:15 am #

    Thank you Steve. Yes, it is my real voice and point of view…I am the only one writing from my own personal thoughts, glad you appreciate what I have to write.

  7. Power Home Solar Review January 26, 2010 at 9:54 pm #

    Great site, I will be back. Well done

  8. fantasha January 27, 2010 at 8:36 am #

    Thanks:)

  9. Matt January 5, 2011 at 7:35 am #

    Hey, nice articles I added your blog to my rss!

  10. MaitaKag March 24, 2012 at 7:11 am #

    Nice to be here, I really enjoy your page. Very much helpfull selective information. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Kind regards!

  11. Wallack December 12, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

    I usually do not drop a lot of comments, but i did a few searching and wound up here! And I do have a couple of questions for you if you usually do not mind. Could it be simply me or does it give the impression like some of these comments appear as if they are left by brain dead people? :-P And, if you are posting on other sites, I would like to keep up with everything fresh you have to post. Could you make a list of all of your communal sites like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?

  12. fantasha December 13, 2012 at 8:41 pm #

    Thanks for the comment!
    You can find me here:

    https://www.facebook.com/SocialYoga

    https://twitter.com/YogaMamaSF

  13. Farler January 18, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    I leave a response when I like a post on a site or I have something too valuable to contribute to the discussion. It is triggered by the fire displayed in the article I looked at. And on this article I was excited enough to create a comment :-P I do have some questions for you if it’s alright. Are you writing at additional sites, I would like to follow everything new you have to post. Could you make a list all of all your shared pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. ziar - January 13, 2011

    In three words I can sum up all I have learned about life: It goes on….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,114 other followers

%d bloggers like this: