Tag Archives: Family

Goodbye San Francisco!

10 Mar

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I have officially decided to leave San Francisco and return home to Vancouver, British Columbia this summer :) I have definitely grown from the 2 years I have lived in this city and have come to realize, I much prefer living in Vancouver, Canada while raising children.
People always ask me with such enthusiasm how I love living in San Francisco…I always seem to burst their bubble with my response. I make sure to emphasize, my experience living in San Francisco would be much different, more positive, if I didn’t have 2 young daughters. I would embrace the debauchery and naked people if I wasn’t responsible for 2 very impressionable children. My reality is, I do have 2 young daughters who would benefit more from living in a modest city…without naked people, public displays of raunchy behavior and all the other confusing sights you typically see in San Francisco. I don’t think a 7-year-old and 2-year-old need to be confronted with men in thongs biking by, nor should they have to walk through thick pot smoke on the way to the kids park (hello, Dolores Park). Furthermore, I don’t want to deal with my daughters’ issues in the future for exposing them to such things at such a young age.

Dolores park...

Dolores park…

I have had really good experiences living in San Fran, like the emphasis on building a clean city. I have learned a lot about composting…being forced to compost, or pay a fine is a great motivator :) I love the healthy food options here, the US has more products than Canada. I love going to farmer’s markets in the local neighborhoods. I really enjoy all the different venues and restaurants that are sure to leave a lasting impression. My favorite part about living in San Francisco are the people, people are so friendly here. There are no weirdos in San Francisco, people from all walks of life fit in.
My biggest life-changing experience from living in San Francisco will be my decision to go into Yoga Therapy as my next career move. By the time I move back to Vancouver, I will be nearly finished my Advanced Yoga Instructor and Yoga Therapist certification. My goal is to help people find true happiness and overcome the issues that are holding them back from finding fulfillment in life.
Thank you San Francisco for all the great experiences I have had and for helping me realize there really is no place like home…in Vancouver, Canada :)
hello_vancouver

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Healing Powers of a Ketogenic Diet

19 Jan

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Only 2 days ago, I was severely sick. I was up all hours of the night vomiting, having night sweats and total body aches. It was so bad! I rarely ever get sick, the last time I remember being sick was a little over a year ago. I think that had more to do with my immune system being vulnerable due to being so sleep-deprived from having a baby. This time, having my toddler puke in my bed at 12 midnight may have had something to do with it…yuck! Today, I am back and feeling strong, thanks to a no sugar, low carb eating plan.

Disease feeds off of sugar and I believe, from personal experience, if you remove the sugars (including fruit sugars) you can kill the viruses. This applies to most viruses. There has been a lot of talk lately about the healing powers of a ketogenic diet in regards to fighting cancer. Thank goodness, I haven’t dealt with anything close to cancer. I also don’t want to minimize the effects of cancer. I feel true sadness for those whose lives have been affected by cancer. I am happy to say, I don’t rely on the flu shot to ward off the flu, I pay strict attention to what I put in my body, including medications.

Oscillococcinum

For medications, I always go with holistic treatments first. As I become more educated on health, I have become more trusting in holistic health care before mainstream Doctors. I view holistic healthcare as preventative medicine, while western Doctors are more about disease management. Very similar reasons as to why I chose Midwives over Doctors. I appreciate the natural method above man-made anything. I don’t want to take a chance with my health and advise all to do your own research instead of taking advice from anyone…even those wearing a white coat. Yay, to feeling healthy in only 2 days!

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Bill Gates 11 Rules of Life

16 Jan

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Bill Gates recently gave a Commencement speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes; learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this – Thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English – Thank a soldier!!

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Putting A Face On Suicide

11 Jan

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Every new year, people make resolutions for weight-loss, financial gain, or other clichéd matters in life. I am reminded that I lost both my brothers, Ricardo and Isaac, to suicide only a short time ago.

My older brother Ricardo, took his life December 31, 2006 so naturally, my loss is the 1st thing I think of at the beginning of every new year. (My younger brother Isaac took his life April 18, 2008)
The worst part of losing my brothers to suicide, aside from the very real missing piece in my heart, is the lonely silence the loss creates. People no longer speak of my brothers, like their lives never mattered and people just go on with their own lives. I still struggle daily to make sense of it all and find strength to overcome my loss and pain. Even those closest to me stop asking how I’m doing, like I’m stamped with a new label of “strong” (I think this is really about me still breathing) so I am expected to go on and thrive despite my massive, life-crippling losses. It’s sad, lonely and painful.
My intention for sharing my losses is to make suicide less taboo to talk about and wake people up to the very common reality of young people ending their lives. My brother Ricardo took his life at only 27 -years-old and my brother Isaac took his life at a mere 22-years-old. Just for reference, I’m 29. We need to open up the lines of communication around suicide and reach out to those who feel alone and with such despair. Lives depend on us facing and talking about this very serious problem of suicide.

IMG_0902I want to share my memories so people realize the lives of my brothers, Ricardo and Isaac, mattered and will always matter to me and my family that has to live with this heart-breaking loss.

IMG_0903Family will always remain family, whether in person, or spirit.
IMG_0904My brother Ricardo started out like every other innocent child, with his whole life ahead of him. Sometimes, circumstances really do get the best of you. And no, I don’t believe you attract everything life sends your way.

IMG_0905A child of God.
IMG_0906For some, not even Faith can save you from your pain.

IMG_0907My baby brother Isaac, I miss you every single day of my life.

IMG_0908You mattered and always will, Isaac.

IMG_0909Even those who appear happy are overcome with pain.

IMG_0910Lives reduced to nothing but ink on paper.

IMG_0911No one said life was going to be fair.

IMG_0912Ricardo and Isaac, forever in my heart and thoughts.
Never stop telling those you love how you feel, it matters more than you know.

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Family Time For The Holidays

21 Dec

202732420697544463_bD2wBGwP_cI’m logging off for some much-needed family time. Happy holidays to all and see you again in the New Year!

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Maverick Family Freedom Event

7 Jul

Maverick Business Adventures hosted an entrepreneurial camp for kids in Utah this past week. It was far from a restful 5 days but totally worth it for our daughter to become even more inspired to start her own business. Forget the lemonade stand, we are aiming much higher for our 7-year-old :)

The 5-day camp started off with fun activities like hot air balloon rides at 6am in the morning. Sure, the early bird gets the worm, but I chose to sleep in with our little 1-year-old Sofia :) Thank goodness for dads ;)

The business workshops were very inspiring, as they were taught by a successful young guy who started his own business at age 12.

The kids were divided into groups and given products to sell at the 4th of July parade. My daughter’s team came in *second and earned $150 profit.

*The winning team “cheated” and used their products towards a fundraiser for the local fire department. I say “cheated” because we were told to teach our children the art and skills of selling their products. I believe there is a huge difference between asking people to purchase your items, and fundraising for a good cause. People are obviously going to be more willing to hand over their hard-earned money to support the local fire department than they are going to be purchasing random patriotic trinkets. I was definitely bummed the fundraising team won 1st place :( I do very much respect the team for taking on such a worthy cause. The forest fires were out of control in Utah.

Here’s my beauty all ready to sell her wrist bands.

Selling tip #1.  It helps to have cute little girls on your team, you’ll make way more of a profit ;) Think about the Girl Scouts…they know how to run a business!

While the kids were away learning how to create and run a successful business, the parents heard Richard Eyre briefly speak about how to create a successful family. He is a father of 9 after all :0 Here are the tips we learnt…

“Ownership is the antidote for entitlement and the prerequisite for responsibility.”

  1. Financial and Material Ownership- Establish an ownership-orientated, responsibility-sharing family economy. This is where kids earn money, spend wisely, save money, and give to those who are less fortunate.
  2. Family Laws- Teaching your kids Peace, Respect, Order, Asking, and Obedience
  3. Family Traditions- Kids love predictability and routine so it is very beneficial to create family traditions. You most likely already do this by celebrating Birthdays, Holidays, Dinner time, etc.

You can learn a lot more tips from Richard’s book, or on his website.

Overall, I think this camp was valuable for our daughter. If nothing else, she was inspired by her peers to create her own business. Would I travel with 2 kids to Utah next year for a camp? Only if there was a lot more for the parents to take away also. Maverick Business Adventures sound like a good time and I would definitely go to the adult events :)

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Extinction of The Young Mom

14 Jun

Pretty much sums up my experience of being a 29-year-old mom of 2 living amongst 40+ year-old first time moms in San Francisco. Feels like living in the twilight zone :s

Can you relate?


John Ross (dad), 66, and Ann Maloney (mom), 60, with daughters Lily, 7, and Isabella, 10.


Fiona Palin (mom), 49, with daughter Kiki, 5 months.


Kate Garros (mom), 61, with twins John and Alexandra, 7.

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Welcome to San Francisco?!

20 Sep

 

 Picking up and moving to San Francisco from beautiful Vancouver, Canada has been far from easy. Maybe if I was single and didn’t have all the demands that come along with 2 kids then this adventure wouldn’t be so daunting. Talk about over-whelming and exhausting life change!

  After arriving here to foggy San Francisco city, we were stranded outside our vacation rental we had booked well in advance; seems our key was with the owner… in Paris! With 2 hungry kids and 6 bags, we were left scrambling for accommodations for the next 7 days. We found last-minute hotel rooms, or less-than-perfect short-term rentals until we got so fed up with crappy, strange beds and invested in an air mattress to sleep in our very empty, new condo. Amidst the scrambling for a place to sleep, we had to have our oldest daughter ready, with a lunch packed, to join the summer school camp! I was not feeling the smoozing that happens in the first few weeks of a new school when I got very little and uncomfortable sleep. No time for a pity party so I did what I do best, put on the happy face and act as if all is wonderful with the new living arrangements. As the saying goes, “fake it ‘til I make it.” Good thing I am so good at faking it;)

  After dropping our daughter off at school to play and deal with nothing but fun and friends, I went on a power shop to get our place livable. Without the luxury of time, or knowledge, I bought furniture that could be delivered in the shortest amount of time. Good thing there are decent stores here. So the next week consisted of the wildest scavenger hunt for everything one needs to furnish a home for a family of 4. A few days in I became so exhausted that I was sneezing uncontrollably while trying to pick out carpets! Is this really my life?! After a month, we are finally becoming more settled.
Settling into a new condo, with new furniture, in a new country is not as fun as one may think. I don’t know a single person to vent to, or go out with. I must rely on my partner, who works long hours and sorry to say, is a man! Men will and never can replace good girlfriends…not even gay men. And there are a lot of gay men to choose from here, another shocker to my daughter who has already witnessed 2 men going at it one afternoon . Oh yeah, and there are naked, old, nasty men who see nothing wrong with letting it all hang out while having an afternoon coffee. Being naked outside is legal here, gross!!!! Is this really my new home? I hope it gets better fast, or I adapt to all the weirdos fast.
San Francisco may be my new home for now but I will always consider Canada home. How can I forget a country that has a lot of natural beauty and free health care? So the saga continues in this new city with endless possibilities?

To be continued…

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Good-bye Baby Shower, Hello Big Sister Party!

31 Aug

 

This past weekend we celebrated the fact that I am going to deliver my second daughter in only 8 weeks. The common way to celebrate a new life is a baby shower but since I already have a truly special 5-year-old daughter, I thought a big sister party was more fitting.

I always try to put myself in my daughter’s shoes (or anyone’s shoes for that matter) to be more mindful of how my actions affect my daughter. So taking my daughter’s feelings about a new baby coming into consideration, I thought how can I make a new baby a joyful, enriching experience for her? That’s when I remembered the idea of having a big sister party! The theme was my daughter as the center of attention (every child’s favorite place) and how she was graduating from only child to big sister! We had a banner that said my daughter was a big sister, balloons, decorations, gifts for my daughter and a beautiful pink cake from my daughter’s favorite cake shop. As you can read, the point wasn’t about the new baby and how special the new baby was, the important part was relaying to my daughter that she has a special role of big sister to hold. Kids need to feel important in a family and to understand that they have a special role in the family and my daughter now understands that a new baby is an exciting time for her to be proud of  the title sister…combating any jealousy that may arise when the attention is shared with a new member of our family.

I urge any parent who already has a kid, or a few children, to forget a baby shower and embrace the big sister/ brother party idea instead. The new baby has no idea what’s going on but your big kid has  a lot of insecurities about how this new baby will affect their place in the family. Show your child that they are special and they have a special role in the family, so much so, you are throwing them a big sister party!

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Stay-at-home Mom Vs. Working Mom

20 Aug

Stay-at-home Mom Vs. Working Mom

The trend amongst women to compete with one another doesn’t end when one becomes a mom, if anything, it heightens the need to compete… to be the best parent, or have the perfect child. There is an unspoken but very real battle between who is the better parent, the stay-at-home mom, or the working mom?    

Stay-at-home moms have the toughest job, a job with no time to clock out. I know many stay-at-home moms and am currently one myself now that I am pregnant with my second daughter. I know the toll it takes on one’s sanity, energy, patience and ability to remain calm in any situation. If women actually knew what it takes to be a mom, would more women opt out of the job? I praise all mothers that choose to stay home with their kids, as statistics show the amount of work that goes into being a full-time mom is harder than working 2 full-time jobs…without the much deserved credit. Speaking of credit, if the parents do split up, the mother’s financial stability decreases while the father’s finances increase, SCREWED! Plus, employers don’t recognize the many skills motherhood provides…

  • Caretaker
  • Multitasker
  • Chef
  • Referee
  • Judge
  • Police officer
  • Nurse
  • Organizer
  • Cleaner
  • Financial planner
  • Party planner
  • Play-date organizer
  • Encyclopedia
  • Teacher
  • Role model
  • And lastly, forming a contributing member of society while teaching them to remember their please and thank-yous!

*Note, all these skills listed above are earned without the luxury of having the time, or energy to receive formal education. Kudos to those moms that get a sense of fulfillment from staying home to raise their kids. For me, I need a part-time job to keep my sense of self...Fantasha, not mommy, not wife…just me.

Being a working mother comes with very serious pros and cons. The pros are showing your children that women can be independent, hard-working women while raising a family. The other massive pro is moms gain a sense of self outside the identity of being a mother. Too often, women only see themselves as mothers and wives and forget about who they are without those titles.  Hence the empty-nester depression that can set in when the kids have grown, moved away and no longer have their dependency on mom. The massive con to being a working mom is handing your child over to someone else, often a non-english as 1st language speaking nanny. Not to mention the condemnation from stay-at-home moms that view the working mother as neglectful and self-absorbed to be able to put her children in the hands of another while she goes off to work.

So what is the best role for a mother, staying home, or working? Whatever brings her the most satisfaction and joy, after all, a happy mom raises happy kids.

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