Tag Archives: health

Why Mothers Need To Get A Life!

16 May

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We all have very different opinions when it comes to the meaning of being a “good” Mom. There are many articles that say we must dismiss ourselves as the person we used to be (before kids) in order to embrace motherhood. I think this mindset is wrong and sets women up for failure on so many levels.
I recently became certified in the Raja Yoga practice and learnt there are 8 limbs to Raja Yoga. I think it is helpful to view Motherhood as another limb to our life as women. We are constantly evolving as women. We grow up and no longer view life through our childlike eyes, nor our teen self. I think the same happens when we become mothers. We gain a wider perspective but it isn’t our whole identity to attach to, anymore than it is if we marry and become a wife. I think the mindset of dying to our “old selves” and becoming reborn as mothers is why we have a lot of the dysfunctional issues, like being hover-parents, over-scheduling our kids, and becoming the lunatic mother on Toddler and Tiaras.

When mothers forget about their own growth and focus all their energy on their children, they do such a disservice to themselves and their kids. Kids learn by watching how we behave and how can we teach our children if we stop evolving? What message are we sending our daughters when we stop pursuing our interests? The moment I got pregnant at 21, I was depressed thinking my life was now over. How was I to happily embrace this new chapter thinking I was now denied having my dreams encouraged and I am now expected to devote my entire being to my child…how depressing!

I come across many parents who only talk about their kids and have nothing more to add to the conversation outside what their child is doing. WTF! If I wanted the complete breakdown of how Jimmy’s life is going, I would be friends with Jimmy…but I’m not! I want to know how Jimmy’s Mother, the individual, is doing. I want to know the person behind the mom role…what are your passions? The reason parents smother their children and over-schedule them is because they use their child as a show-pony. Their kid becomes a pawn to represent them, make the parents look good. That’s why so many parents brag about how many activities their kid is in, they think it’s a reflection of them. Have you ever seen the parents who put their kid in those pageants? They look like they gave up on themselves and in most cases they have.
To be a healthy and “good” mom you need to allow your child the freedom to express their unique self, not impose your own agenda on them in order for you to look good. You must allow yourself to grow and continue to discover your passions outside the mother limb. Make yourself look good based on what you are personally doing. Get a life Mothers! (I mean that in the most loving and supportive way) :)

 ”Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?”

Daring Greatly- Brené Brown

28 Apr

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Daring Greatly is such a fantastic read and I hope more people break open these pages to truly break open their heart. I couldn’t have discovered this book at a more fitting time in my life. Currently, I am working towards my Yoga Therapy certification in hopes of helping many others who have endured some of the challenges I have and supporting them towards finding the joy and beauty life still has to offer. Brené Brown is the kind of “spiritual” teacher I have been looking to connect with and she has offered so much wisdom in Daring greatly.

As I work through one of my required modules for my certification (Manifest Your Destiny), I am asked to show up in my own life a lot more vulnerable than I have been these last 5 years. I am really great at being the strong/ supportive friend, sister, mother, and partner but the real challenge for me is to be open and rely on others to see my true self. I don’t know the exact moment I walled myself off to my close circle of loved ones but I know I put people at arm’s length when it comes to truly knowing me, my feelings, sadness, and pain. Being vulnerable is really scary for me.


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After traveling back to my home town to celebrate my 30th birthday, I received valuable feedback from those I consider my reference point. These are the friends who have known me through all my greatest challenges and love me because of my “flaws.” These friends I refer to as the “keepers.” I believe we all need those people who know us at our core because they keep us in-check and help us find our way back to ourselves when we are “lost.” I know I’ve been “lost” for too long now and I am ready and willing to do the work to uncover my true self again.

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Daring Greatly, along with really great friends and family, has inspired me to face my greatest fears and work towards being the person, mother, and friend I really desire to be.
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Does Motherhood Kill Spiritual Enlightenment?

26 Apr

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Where are all the female, or mother spiritual leaders? I often think about the huge void where the female/ mother voice needs to be. With the non-stop quotes people post from the Dalai Lama Thich Nhat HanhDeepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer,  Paulo Coelho, and the long list of other influential men, I find myself looking for the women. I also question the transition to motherhood and if that kills your chances at reaching spiritual enlightenment altogether?

As a woman and mother, I prefer to seek guidance from those who truly relate to my experience. Maybe it’s just me, but I notice the theme of men being the spiritual leader in all religions and spiritual practices. When I ask people for examples of female spiritual leaders they are quick to reference Oprah, Mother Teresa, and very few other women. After much thought (and some Googling), I realize the very giving and selfless women often decided against having any biological children of their own. That leaves me wondering, can I reach enlightenment while raising kids (you never stop raising kids no matter how old they become)?

As a mother to 2 young children (8 years old and 2 years old) I find it hard enough to keep my sanity on a daily basis, let alone aspire to reach a level of spiritual enlightenment. I relate motherhood to a marathon, everyday micromanaging little beings uses up my energy to the fullest. Kids have a way of siphoning all your energy, only to leave you collapsing to your bed by bedtime…8pm in my house. How do I find the energy and SILENCE to create the space to meditate in order to hear my inner voice? The visual I have is getting all prepared in my serene space with my cushy pillow to sit upon only to have my toddler jump on my back the moment I close my eyes. I think about the statistics that show when women have children they sacrifice reaching higher positions within the work force, are the statistics true for spirituality as well?

Is the reason men have reached that deeper spiritual place (or what appears as they have reached a deep spiritual place) because women are usually left dealing with the kids for more hours in a day? I’ve recently started looking into these male spiritual influencers and have found moments when the men leave their families to pursue their spiritual quest. The same can be said for successful businessmen having to travel away from their families. Does that mean, as a woman, you can’t reach that level of spiritual awakening if you have children?

I have explored different spiritual beliefs, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism and now Yogic philosophy. I am currently working towards becoming a Yoga Therapist so I have been facing these spiritual questions as I learn the philosophy behind Yoga. I keep searching for the mother voice to relate to and I haven’t found it yet, or a strong enough female presence yet. I guess I am left questioning if motherhood kills my chances of reaching true spiritual enlightenment?
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Goodbye San Francisco!

10 Mar

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I have officially decided to leave San Francisco and return home to Vancouver, British Columbia this summer :) I have definitely grown from the 2 years I have lived in this city and have come to realize, I much prefer living in Vancouver, Canada while raising children.
People always ask me with such enthusiasm how I love living in San Francisco…I always seem to burst their bubble with my response. I make sure to emphasize, my experience living in San Francisco would be much different, more positive, if I didn’t have 2 young daughters. I would embrace the debauchery and naked people if I wasn’t responsible for 2 very impressionable children. My reality is, I do have 2 young daughters who would benefit more from living in a modest city…without naked people, public displays of raunchy behavior and all the other confusing sights you typically see in San Francisco. I don’t think a 7-year-old and 2-year-old need to be confronted with men in thongs biking by, nor should they have to walk through thick pot smoke on the way to the kids park (hello, Dolores Park). Furthermore, I don’t want to deal with my daughters’ issues in the future for exposing them to such things at such a young age.

Dolores park...

Dolores park…

I have had really good experiences living in San Fran, like the emphasis on building a clean city. I have learned a lot about composting…being forced to compost, or pay a fine is a great motivator :) I love the healthy food options here, the US has more products than Canada. I love going to farmer’s markets in the local neighborhoods. I really enjoy all the different venues and restaurants that are sure to leave a lasting impression. My favorite part about living in San Francisco are the people, people are so friendly here. There are no weirdos in San Francisco, people from all walks of life fit in.
My biggest life-changing experience from living in San Francisco will be my decision to go into Yoga Therapy as my next career move. By the time I move back to Vancouver, I will be nearly finished my Advanced Yoga Instructor and Yoga Therapist certification. My goal is to help people find true happiness and overcome the issues that are holding them back from finding fulfillment in life.
Thank you San Francisco for all the great experiences I have had and for helping me realize there really is no place like home…in Vancouver, Canada :)
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I’m 30, Now What?

7 Mar

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Wow, I made it to 30! I tell my friends, it feels like I skidded into home-plate all covered in mud, soaking and exhausted. Life has been a hell of a game so far. I do know the meaning of “when life throws you a curve ball, you have to knock it out of the park…” I’ve had my share of curve balls alright.
My 20′s have been rough with some joy sprinkled in here and there. I started out my 20′s by getting pregnant and married by 21, getting through the loss of my older brother to suicide by 23, getting over my 2nd loss of my younger brother to suicide by 24, dealing with the breakdown of relationships with my older sisters and having my 2nd daughter by 27! It feels like I have already lived a lifetime. It’s not like I’ve had the easiest journey growing up in a family of 6 kids to a single mother who ended up sending me to foster care 2 weeks after my 13th birthday, but that’s a whole other chapter to be shared at a later date. So what have I learned so far?

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From all the pain and heartache, the first lesson I’ve learned is you must, must, must hold onto your friendships. It is because of my amazing friends that I have even made it this far…with my sanity somewhat intact ;) Seriously, friends are the ones who are there before the husband and kids, and they will remain there until the end. I consider my friends to be the family I’ve always craved and the relationships I’ve chosen to nurture. I only desire healthy, respectful, and genuine relationships now that I have acquired much wisdom. The second important, life-changing lesson I have learned is, it’s not about what has happened to you but more importantly, how you choose to respond to life’s hardships. It would’ve been all to easy for me to crawl into bed and not want to get up ever but I decided I was worth more than that. Despite all the bullshit, I believe I am destined for a greater purpose. If I can help 1 person get through even 1 of the things I have experienced, I will feel like I have made a difference. I desire to turn my shitty ass life experiences into something of value.
So here’s to being 30 and making this decade all about my own happiness and finding  my passion for life again!

* My great girlfriends are pictured above, but I have other important people to thank too for my strength and support.

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Successful 2013

7 Feb

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Happy Birthday Isaac, R.I.P.

29 Jan
The last birthday for Isaac. He lived to be only 22

The last birthday for Isaac. He lived to be only 22

Today would have been my brother Isaac’s 27th birthday…27! So young to not be on this planet anymore. Although it is coming up on the 5th anniversary of Isaac’s death, I miss him just as much, if not more.
One of the best parts of having Isaac as my younger brother was having his respect as his older sister, even when he would tower over me with his height. He was so respectful towards me and truly listened to my thoughts and feelings. It’s so hard to find people who really take time to hear me out…without staring at their phone while saying they’re ”listening.”
Isaac and I bonded over all things health and wellness. We both took kickboxing, although he achieved higher levels than I, so we had a lot in common with the art of fighting. We also worked out a lot together. I was always proud as I watched my baby brother lift more weight than many guys in the gym. I loved seeing the other men around watching my bro with envy…a proud moment for a sister who is all about fitness.
A funny story I will always cherish is the last Sun Run we did together. Isaac had way longer legs than I so with each of his long strides, I would have to do 4/5 steps to keep up. As we were going along the 10km course, Isaac thought the 8km mark was the finish line so he proceeded to sprint…I was confused as to what he was doing so I let him go. I couldn’t have caught up with him if I tried. This guy used to run from place to place through the city instead of doing what us “lazy” people do, drive. I caught up to my brother as he was panting and trying to catch his breath. I asked Isaac what he was doing as we still had 2km to go and there was a hill to climb before the finish line. Obviously, he was shocked and he couldn’t go quite yet. I took full advantage of this opportunity and told him I would meet him at the finish line ;) What are sisters for. I beat his time! Thank goodness he fumbled 2 km back so I could soak up all the glory of beating my  brother in the Sun Run :) I took him for breakfast after so he felt a little better about losing to a girl ;)
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Thank you Isaac for all the loving and fond memories I will cherish of us. Here’s to many more celebrations of your life and all the lessons I have learnt from our special relationship.
Happy Birthday!

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FREE Mama Park Workout

27 Jan

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I’ve been a certified Personal Trainer for 8 years now and just because I’ve become a certified Yoga Instructor, doesn’t mean I’ve lost my passion for muscle-building. Being a mother to 2 beautiful little girls, I love building sexy muscles via resistance training to stay healthy and fit. Here is your free mama park workout to do while your kids play.
814d4e6efd0128e47919e1668bd6e0feBegin with a warm up. You can bring a skipping rope (great cardio!) or do some jumping jacks. You may also like to do a brisk walk around the playground. Your goal is to warm up your body and get prepared to do some fun exercises ;)

How to skip

With hands at your sides, three inches from your hips, hold the handles lightly and turn them with your wrists in small circles

Keep elbows slightly bent

Tilt head slightly down, but not so you’re staring at your feet

Keep your upper body straight and erect

Land on the balls of your feet with the heels barely touching
FitnessOnTheFly001Squat and Press

Target Muscles: quadriceps, gluteus maximus, anterior and lateral deltoids

Set Up: Stand in the center of the band with your feet hip-width apart, holding the band handles at shoulder height, palms forward.

Action: Squat down until your thighs come parallel to the floor [A], press through your heels to stand back up. As you reach full extension, drive the band handles up toward the ceiling [B]. Reverse the move, and return to the starting position.
Tip: Because you’re stretching the band really far when extending your arms overhead, use a lighter band for this move to protect your shoulders.

FitnessOnTheFly004Lunge with Curl

Target Muscles: quadriceps, gluteus maximus, biceps brachii

Set Up: Step on the center of the band with your left foot. Hold the handles at your sides, arms in close to your body, palms forward. Step back with your right foot [A].

Action: Keeping your upper arms tight to your sides, curl the handles toward your shoulders [B]. Next, bend your legs to lower into a lunge [C]. Return to your standing position, lower your arms for one rep. Complete all reps before switching to your other side.
SecretGreatGlutesLegs007Resistance-Band Abductor Pull

Set Up: Attach a resistance band securely around a pole. Attach the looped end of the resistance band around the foot furthest away from the pole, and step away from the pole enough so that you can feel the tension in the resistance band. You may need to split your stance for more stability.

Action: Flex your toes of the leg attached to the resistance band toward your shin. Next, keeping your leg extended, slowly move your foot away from the opposite foot. Feel the tension in your outer thigh, slowly return to the start position. Repeat. After completing 12-15 reps, switch sides and repeat the sequence.
SecretGreatGlutesLegs002_1 Resistance-Band Adductor Pull

Set Up: Attach a resistance band securely by looping around a pole. Attach the looped end of the resistance band around the foot closest to the pole, and then step away from the pole enough so that you can feel the tension in the resistance band. You may need to split your stance a bit to feel stable.

Action: Flex your toes of the leg attached to the resistance band toward your shin. Next, keeping your leg extended, slowly move your foot across the opposite foot. Feel the tension in your inner thigh, then slowly return to the start position.  Repeat. After completing 12-15 reps, switch sides and repeat the sequence.

Tip: To protect your lumbar spine, maintain a vertical posture throughout the range of exercise. Do not rotate your torso when you begin to fatigue. When you can no longer use proper form, stop the set.

Tip:
 Stabilize yourself by contracting your core, and keep your body vertical throughout each set. Also, flex your toes toward your shin.
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Bruce Lee Kick

Target Muscles: Glutes

Action: Stand to the left of a railing or study object, your feet hip-width apart and both hands placed lightly on the sturdy object. Shift your weight onto your right leg, bend at the waist, and pull your left knee up toward your chest [A]. Quickly extend your left leg, pushing through your heel and contracting your left glute [B]. Reverse the movement to return to start, lowering your left leg back to the floor. That’s one rep. Do 12-15, then repeat on the other side
Calf-Raises-For-Legs-mdnCalf Raises

Target muscles: Calves

Action: Stand with feet shoulder-width apart. Hold on to a bench, or railing for support, if necessary. Lift onto balls of feet, then lower. Repeat 8–10 times.

FitnessOnTheFly003Chest Press and Flye

Target Muscles: pectorals, anterior deltoids

Set Up: Anchor the band in a door. Hold the handles at shoulder height and take a large step away from the anchor with one foot. Extend your arms parallel to the ground, palms facing downward [A].

Action: Bend your elbows to bring your hands back toward your shoulders [B]. Smoothly reverse the move, pressing the handles to an extended position. Turn your palms inward, bend your elbows slightly, and open your arms wide until your elbows come in line with your torso[C]. Bring the handles back to the starting position. Continue, alternating presses and flyes.
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Deadlift with Row

Target Muscles: hamstrings, gluteus maximus, latissimus dorsi, rhomboids, rear deltoids

Set Up: Knot a loop in the band and stand on it with both feet. Hold the handles at your sides with your palms facing inward.

Action: Keeping your legs straight, fold forward from the hips until your torso makes a 45-degree angle [A]. Pull both handles toward your rib cage, squeezing your shoulder blades together while keeping your elbows in close to your sides [B]. Pause, then lower your hands and use your hamstrings and glutes to raise your body back to the starting position.

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BODY ROW

Target muscles: arms, back, core

Action: Stand facing anchor point, holding 1 handle in each hand with arms extended. Lean back until straps are taut [A]. Pull chest forward, bending elbows and squeezing shoulder blades, bringing hands alongside chest until almost standing straight [B]. Return to start and repeat.

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Forward Lunge and Fly with Resistance Band

Target muscles: Pectorals and core

Action: Loop the resistance band around a sturdy object at chest height. With your back to the object, grab a handle in each hand and step forward until there’s no slack in the band. Stand with your feet together and knees slightly bent, then raise your arms to shoulder height, palms facing away from you, so that your body forms a T [A]. In one motion, step forward with your left leg, bend your left knee, and press the handles towards each other in front of your chest, keeping your arms straight [B]. Return to the starting position. That’s one rep. Repeat on the other leg and continue alternating until you’ve completed 12-15 reps on each side.
Pull-Aparts-for-back-and-shoulders-mdnPull-Aparts

Target muscles: Back and Shoulders

Action: Stand with feet hip-width apart. Grasp band with both arms extended in front of you at shoulder height, elbows slightly bent. Pull hands away from each other, stretching band, focusing on squeezing your shoulder blades together until both arms are horizontal to your body (band may be against chest). Release and repeat 8–10 times.

ss_101388783Band Biceps Curl

 Target muscles: Biceps

 Action: Stand with right foot in middle of band, holding one end of band (forget the dumbbell) wrap ends of band around palms. Keeping elbows by sides, turn palms forward and curl both hands up to shoulders. Do 10-12 reps. Next, curl one hand up at a time, alternating sides. Do 10-12 curls on each side. Repeat.

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Tricep Dips: This is one of my favorite exercises. I do this when I’m watching my girls at the park.
Action: Sit on a bench of chair, placing hands next to your hips. Lift up on your hands, bring your hips forward and lower your hips down until your elbows get no lower than 90 degrees. Push back up without locking your elbows. Try to do 10-20 reps. Make sure not to shrug your shoulders, keeping them down and away from your ears as you bend your elbows. To make this move more intense, walk your feet farther out or prop them up on a bench.
FitnessOnTheFly002Balancing Triceps Extension

Target Muscles: triceps brachii, transverse abdominis

Set Up: Stand on one end of the band with your right foot and hold the other end in your right hand. Lift your right elbow so it points toward the ceiling, and drop your hand behind your head. Place your left hand on your waist and lift your left knee to hip height in front of you.

Action: Straighten your right arm toward the ceiling, keeping your upper arm close to your ear and your core tight. Pause at full extension, then slowly lower to the starting position. Complete all reps on one side, then switch to the other.
FitnessOnTheFly006-1Torso Rotation

Target Muscles: obliques, transverse abdominis, rear and lateral deltoids, pectorals, trapezius, rhomboids

Set Up: Anchor the band at shoulder height and stand sideways to the anchor, feet shoulder-width apart for stability. Grasp both handles with straight arms at chest height, and rotate your torso and shoulders toward the anchor [A].

Action: Move your arms, shoulders and torso as one unit and twist away from the anchor, stretching the band as you pull it across your body to face the opposite way [B]. Slowly uncoil and return to the starting position. Complete all reps on one side then switch to the other.
ss_101388816Pull-Down

Target muscles: Back, arms, abs, obliques, and hips

 Action: Stand with feet slightly more than shoulder-width apart, holding one end of band in each hand, arms by sides. Lift arms overhead, pulling band tight, and point right toes out to side. Keeping left arm still, engage obliques, pull right elbow down to side, and lift right knee to meet it. Extend right arm and leg without touching toes to floor. Do 10-12 reps. Switch sides; repeat.

Crunches-For-Abs-mdnCrunches (For Abs)

Action: Lie with knees bent, feet flat. Place hands behind head, or cross arms across chest. Lift torso up a few inches (keep a space between chin and chest), then lower. Repeat 8–10 times.

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Plank: This is one of the most effective abs exercise that you can do, and it’s not just great for strengthening your abdominal muscles, it also works on all your core muscles, such as your hips and back.

Action: Start by lying face down on the exercise mat/ grass. Place your elbows and forearms underneath your chest and prop yourself up into a bridge using your forearms and toes, engaging your core. Keep your back flat and don’t let your hips sag towards the floor. Hold while focusing on tightening your abs. Beginners can start at 10 seconds and then work your way up to a full minute. Return to starting position and rest.

*Focus on form, slow and controlled.
*Breathe! Exhale the tension out on the working phase, the hard part. NEVER hold your breath.
*Drink water!
*Stretch afterwards

Save money on a gym membership and invest in resistance bands. You can workout at the park while your kids play :) Fit mama = happy, healthy mama :)

Mama Fitness While Kids Play

26 Jan
Obviously, it was a very sunny day.

Obviously, it was a very sunny day.

Being a mother to 2 children, I’ve had to be creative with creating time for fitness. I have come up with the perfect solution for creating time for exercise, workout at the park while your kids play!

Fabulous park in Hayes Valley that already has some equipment :)

Fabulous park in Hayes Valley that already has some equipment :)

If you are a beginner, there are some parks in your neighborhood that offer some fitness equipment, use it! If you are looking for a more specific workout, you only need  limited equipment made up of fitness bands.

My favorite workout equipment as it is very portable.

My favorite workout equipment as it is very portable.

This is my personal park fitness gear,  fitness bands. Make sure to get the ones with good material so it doesn’t rub and fray too easily. I like to bring some balance equipment as well to change-up the intensity. Don’t forget water! For an added perk, I like to use my Basis Band to keep track of heart rate, calories, and other fascinating biometrics.

The kids play as mama gets fit and strong :)

The kids play as mama gets fit and strong :)

The kids will happily play as you workout. Use the time at the park for your own play ;) no more wasting your time on your cell phone. The park workout is the perfect solution for mothers who are too busy with kids to get to a gym :) I have been doing my park workout since my 1st daughter was a toddler. Plus, what kids observe their parents doing, they will naturally follow in your footsteps. Lead by example.

Stay tuned for an example park workout in my next blog post.

Image 26 Jan

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