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Tags: Friends, Friendship, Genuine, Love, True love
Tag Archives: Love
I’m 30, Now What?
7 Mar
Wow, I made it to 30! I tell my friends, it feels like I skidded into home-plate all covered in mud, soaking and exhausted. Life has been a hell of a game so far. I do know the meaning of “when life throws you a curve ball, you have to knock it out of the park…” I’ve had my share of curve balls alright.
My 20′s have been rough with some joy sprinkled in here and there. I started out my 20′s by getting pregnant and married by 21, getting through the loss of my older brother to suicide by 23, getting over my 2nd loss of my younger brother to suicide by 24, dealing with the breakdown of relationships with my older sisters and having my 2nd daughter by 27! It feels like I have already lived a lifetime. It’s not like I’ve had the easiest journey growing up in a family of 6 kids to a single mother who ended up sending me to foster care 2 weeks after my 13th birthday, but that’s a whole other chapter to be shared at a later date. So what have I learned so far?
From all the pain and heartache, the first lesson I’ve learned is you must, must, must hold onto your friendships. It is because of my amazing friends that I have even made it this far…with my sanity somewhat intact 
Seriously, friends are the ones who are there before the husband and kids, and they will remain there until the end. I consider my friends to be the family I’ve always craved and the relationships I’ve chosen to nurture. I only desire healthy, respectful, and genuine relationships now that I have acquired much wisdom. The second important, life-changing lesson I have learned is, it’s not about what has happened to you but more importantly, how you choose to respond to life’s hardships. It would’ve been all to easy for me to crawl into bed and not want to get up ever but I decided I was worth more than that. Despite all the bullshit, I believe I am destined for a greater purpose. If I can help 1 person get through even 1 of the things I have experienced, I will feel like I have made a difference. I desire to turn my shitty ass life experiences into something of value.
So here’s to being 30 and making this decade all about my own happiness and finding my passion for life again!
* My great girlfriends are pictured above, but I have other important people to thank too for my strength and support.
Family Time For The Holidays
21 Dec
I’m logging off for some much-needed family time. Happy holidays to all and see you again in the New Year!
Listening to Shame
18 Dec
Listening to Shame is another great TED talk to watch by Brene Brown. Please watch and pass it on to help other people 
F**K Karma, You DON’T Get What You Give!
8 Dec
*Warning, this Yogi may be offensive and challenge your beliefs. Proceed with caution!
I must blog about the overrated theory of Karma, it’s BS! After many debates over the years (even more so now that I am in the Yoga world as a certified teacher) I have come to a point where I can’t hold back my opinion on Karma any longer.
I know as humans, we like to try to find the answers to the mystery of life and how it all works. We like to come up with formulas and find patterns hoping we have solved the riddle to life, sorry folks, that will never happen. God, Allah, The Source, whatever you call it, It is way too intelligent for our inferior human brains. I understand how living life without a clue of how it all works is nerve-racking so people want to lead their life according to scriptures and find gurus to emulate, it’s all good. Whatever makes one happy. If that is right for you, I am happy you found your way. It is Karma I have a problem with.
The idea of Karma is you get what you give. The energy you put out into the universe is what you shall receive. The reason I believe this theory is full of shit is because people blame innocent victims for what horrible experiences they have incurred. “Oh, it must have been the actions in their past life that attracted this energy.” Every time I hear someone (who thinks of themselves as intelligent) say this, it takes a lot of self-control not to unleash on them. Are you telling me, the kid that got attacked by the neighborhood pedophile attracted that in some way due to a past life? Ok, those are serious fighting words. I laugh when people want to refer to a past life, you have zero proof so it’s a pretty convenient copout. This is just 1 example, I can point out many more. I think you get my point and so I shall end my rant.
I don’t need to believe in Karma as an incentive to be a better person, I’ll just make an effort to be nice to others because it makes ME happy. I don’t need to be threatened with the wrath of universal energy to be motivated to do good, I am a good person by choice. If I let the “universal energy” determine my character, believe me, I would have a million reasons by now to be jaded…but I’m not. Peace, Love, and Happiness
Thanksgiving Better Than Christmas
28 Nov
There are numerous reasons why I am making it my goal to create the spirit of Christmas like that of Thanksgiving. Time to change the season of buying too much and make it more about gratitude and love. Thanksgiving reigns supreme over Christmas for all the reasons listed.
- No pressure to give gifts: I don’t hate gifts, but I despise all the stress that goes into picking gifts, buying them, and giving them to a loved one in hopes they’ll actually appreciate it. That’s all gone from Thanksgiving.
- The meal matters more: the focus is the food, which is wonderful. Nothing better than giving the love of food to your most cherished people.
- Easy to add extra people: What if someone extra shows up at Christmas? It’s a big scramble to grab a standby present (if you are even that organized) from the closet. At Thanksgiving, there’s always more than enough food to share.
- Rest: Need I say more?
- Way Less commercialized: People go crazy to buy the latest/ greatest gift for their family and friends. People will even go into debt over being able to “afford” the gifts. None of that nonsense during Thanksgiving.
- Freedom to easily change tradition: You can easily change the traditions of Thanksgiving without a fight. If you have kids, telling them no presents at Christmas is going to bring a river of tears. Heck, forget just kids, telling anyone there are no gifts for Christmas brings resentment.
- Starts the anticipation: Christmas is one of the last breaks before the long road of winter. Thanksgiving is just the beginning. The party’s just getting started. It’s like Friday night, instead of the Sunday night.
- Added bonus of Black Friday: While we’re talking weekends, Thanksgiving has the added benefit of wonderful sales the next day. Instead of shopping, I use it as an excuse to hang out with friends and family. The day after Christmas is just the end of the overplayed Christmas music.
- Promotes gratitude: Instead of asking people what they want or got for Christmas, you get to ask what people are thankful for. And that, by itself, is a reason to be thankful. My favorite reason why I love Thanksgiving.
For all these valid reasons listed, I am making it my mission to create a Christmas spirit like that of Thanksgiving. I hope you’ll try to do the same If you must give this Christmas season, give to those who are in need…the local food bank.
Fantasha Kassam
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